![]() ![]() The difference between a rich drunk and a poor one is that a rich one tells his problems to a psychiatrist and a poor one tells his to a bartender. When you look at it that way, it’s not that much fun. I mean, I’ve had bartenders and waiters and waitresses make a comment about a joke of mine, like pointing out some sort of logic error or something that I’ve never even thought about, and they’re right.Įveryone feels like they would love to be a really cool bartender in a really cool bar, but you’re still surrounded by people who want to destroy themselves with alcohol. You’ll enjoy these margarita quotes and captions. He had a habit of remarking to bartenders that he didn’t see any sense in mixing whiskey with water since the whiskey was already wet. The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid. Bartender says, “Where’d you get the pig?” Guy says, “This is a duck.” Bartender says, “I was talking to the duck.” Guy goes into a bar with a duck under his arm. He said to the bartender, ‘Whiskey and ice.’ The bartender said, ‘There’s no ice.’ The American said, ‘I’ll have water.’ He said, ‘You can’t. ![]() That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.Īn American goes into an Irish pub. Then I started thinking about how cool it was.Īlways do sober what you said you’d do drunk. I could finally quit my job as a bartender and stop dreaming that I might be Superman and know that I was. If Jesus was a bartender, He would still only be half as cool as Carlos.Ī duck walks into a bar and the bartender asks, what’ll it be? The duck doesn’t answer because it’s a duck. ![]() You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender. That’s the magic of being a bartender- the sleight of hand at play, to hide all the work and serve up all the pleasure.īartenders recognize through practice what liquid increments look like in a standard mixing glass.Ī bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory. A good bartender has to be part philosopher, part psychiatrist, part psychic. ![]()
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